Self-improvement and growth are a big topic for me and I think it is everyone's duty to become the best version of himself. I try to read every day and with this blog, I want to summarize the books that I have read and say my thoughts about them.

Follow me [on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/devin_hasler/).
Follow me [on LinkedIn](https://www.linkedin.com/in/devin-hasler-0a567521a/)

Devin Hasler


## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. We should learn to understand our emotions better.
2. Romanticism has failed.
3. Sometimes it is good to be bad.

## 🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

The book is generally written for a wide audience since improving ourselves and understanding ourselves should be the goal of every person and firmly implanted in our school system. However, I would say that if some knowledge is already present in these specific areas, the book can feel repetitive and lengthy.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

I learned a lot of concepts in the subject of emotional maturity and improved my understanding of the importance of learning these subjects in school. As the author Alain mentions in the introduction, we sadly pay too much attention to scientific matters and principles and neglect the emotional side of life. It would be wrong, on the other hand, to dismiss all scientific learnings from school, but we should find a better balance between these two subjects.

## ✍️ My Top 3 Quotes

> “We need to become better friends to ourselves.” Alain de Botton

> “Contented people have no need to hurt others.” Alain de Botton

> “Our degree of satisfaction is critically dependent on our expectations.” Alain de Botton

## 📒 Summary + Notes

The book has set itself a challenging goal since catching up in emotional education with just one single book is quite a big task. Nonetheless, the book manages to achieve this by structuring the content into five topics, which are then explained in greater depth.

### I. Self

Alain mentions in this chapter how strange it is that we have so little knowledge about our inner selves. Although it seems like we are the owners of our skulls since we carry them with us all the time, most of the time we remain strangers to what unfolds within them.

The author mentions the importance of having fundamental emotional skepticism. Skepticism comes from the Greek word “skepsis” which means questioning. I find this an immensely important concept as questioning your own thoughts can make a huge difference. In this lies the concept of Socrates, who says, “I am wise not because I know, but because I know I don’t know,” which couldn’t be more true.

Further, Alain mentions the relevance of understanding his own past since every person has their own primal wounds, as he calls them. Primal wounds are experiences that were made in childhood which have strongly shaped our emotional side and our character. There is always a logic and a history behind another person.

It is interesting that a child who suffers at the hands of an adult almost always takes what has happened to them as a reflection of what is wrong with themselves. This then takes a lot of effort to reflect on oneself to acknowledge that most of the mistakes were not made by the child but by the adult instead.

One really interesting thing that Alain mentions in this chapter is a list which consists of things that can be expected of an emotionally healthy childhood. This list, as he said, can help to check for dislocations that happened. The list is pretty long, which is why I am unable to provide the whole list in this summary, but I nonetheless want to list the most important things that stuck with me:

- In an emotionally healthy childhood, someone will put themselves profoundly at our service.
- In an emotionally healthy childhood, we’re given the benefit of the doubt.
- In an emotionally healthy childhood, we aren’t always required to be wholly good boys or girls.
- Importantly, in an emotionally healthy childhood, plenty goes wrong.
- In an emotionally healthy childhood, the child can see that the good career isn’t either entirely good or wholly bad and so isn’t worthy of either idealization or denigration.

### II. Others

Our society is much more interested in winners than it is in losers. In addition to that, you get what you are, which means that there is no such thing as bad luck. If you failed, you just did not do enough, and it is solely your fault. Because of this, the suicide rate in our modern world is so high, as we judge failing so harshly. But in ancient Greece, there was another alternative: you can be good even if you have failed.

Also in this chapter, the concept of the weakness of strength is mentioned. This means that the very same character trait that we approve of will be inseparable from tendencies we end up regretting. This is why we should understand that there is no person with only strengths. This leads to the importance of kindness, which Alain explains as follows:

“Kindness is built out of a constantly renewed and gently resigned awareness that weakness-free people do not exist.”

This is something I struggle with a lot because I try to get rid of all my weaknesses. This then leads to myself having goals and expectations of myself which are very hard to meet. Also, it diverts my energy into multiple directions which makes it hard for me to become very good in just one thing and accept the lack thereof in another area.

In this chapter, Alain also mentions something important. It is the formula of self-esteem:

$$\text{Self Esteem} = \frac{\text{Success}}{\text{Expectations}}$$

The quest of building self-esteem can be easy since you can just lower your expectations, but in my opinion, this is not the right way to do it. But this can lead to a problem since although tremendous success cannot lead to any self-esteem because the expectations are set so high. Finding the balance between having high expectations and allowing oneself to build good self-esteem is a challenge one has to solve for oneself, and it is something I personally struggle with since I always set myself high expectations.

### III. Relationships

When we Western people talk about love, we talk about Romanticism. It’s the only thing we love, and it’s what we have always watched as children when we watched the newest Disney movie. Romanticism has managed to display the concept of love in an enjoyable and beautiful manner. They were extremely talented at displaying their hopes and longings. But Alain states that Romanticism has failed miserably. Romanticism told us things like:

- We should meet a person with extraordinary inner and outer beauty.
- We should have no secrets.
- We should understand each other intuitively.
- We should raise a family without any loss of sexual or emotional intensity.

All these things were advertised by Romanticism. The problem is that finding partners that check all these boxes is nearly impossible, which is why a lot of relationships fail because we always think about the things our partner does not check. Alain suggests replacing Romanticism with a much more mature vision of love which says:

- It is normal that love and sex do not always belong together.
- Discussing money early on, up front, in a serious way is not a betrayal of love.
- Realizing that we are rather flawed, and our partner is too, is of huge benefit to a couple in increasing the amount of tolerance and generosity in circulation.
- We will never find everything in another person, nor they in us, not because of some unique incapacity, but because of the basic operations of human nature.
- We need to make immense and often rather artificial-sounding efforts to understand one another because intuition will never be enough.
- Practicalities matter—so, for example, there is special dignity around the topics of laundry and domestic management.

### IV. Work

In this chapter, Alain talks about the danger of being a so-called good boy or girl. This is the sort of person that is happy all the time, that tries to make it right for everyone, and is just generally the person that our school system tries to “produce.” The problem, though, is that these people suppress their emotions so badly that they feel strong side effects after. They have sudden outbursts of anger, they become bitter and harsh, and much more. Also, it can lead to us becoming timid when we are overexposed to other people’s good sides.

Another thing that happens in our childhood is the building and experiencing of imposter syndrome. From an early age on, we experience our parents as very different from us since we don’t have the same hobbies, capabilities, and so on. This then leads to us thinking that we are not the type of person to be successful and happy. In that regard, there is also the fact that we know ourselves from the inside and from the outside, and we experience every thought and emotion we have. But from other people, we only see what they do and what they tell us, which is a far narrower source of information. This leads to us feeling much freakier, stranger, and less competent. We have to start to acknowledge that other people have the same strange thoughts that we do and that they make the same mistakes.

### V. Culture

This is the chapter where Alain talks about the values we have in our culture. He compares Romanticism with Classical Culture in different aspects. Because of the number of differences discussed, I will not be able to list them here without making this summary unpleasantly long, but I want to mention one thing. Why do we value price so much? It seems that in our culture, price is the only thing that matters to us. It is not the quality (look at Louis Vuitton and Gucci with their exceptionally bad quality), it is not the emotional value, it is just the price. This is something where we should go back to the mind of a 4-year-old who does not understand the concept of price and chooses things based on their instinct.

Because of the sheer amount of things to learn from this book, it was very difficult to choose which things to add to this blog. This is why I apologize for the length of this blog and hope that it was interesting nonetheless. I strongly advise everyone to read this book as it holds very interesting concepts that I believe everyone should have heard of. With that, I thank you for reading this blog, and

I look forward to seeing you reading my next blog post and wish you all the best.

Regards,  
Devin Hasler


A book by Alain de Botton about Emotional Education

The school of life


## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. The most important thing in a negotiation is to listen
2. Try to find the Black Swans (Unknown Unknowns) in every negotiation
3. three

## 🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

There is probably no person on which this book is not able to be beneficial if read. The skill of negotiation can be applicable to everyone's life since negotiations don’t happen just in a business context. The well and easy writing style of Tahl Raz is very pleasing which guarantees a pleasant reading experience. Also, the summaries at the end of each chapter help remember the book's content and rereading.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

Since this book was the first book I read about negotiating, it consisted of a lot of valuable information. The negotiation strategies taught in this book are very reasonable and socially acceptable as well, since the goal is not only to reach a certain price point but also to manage and build a good connection with your negotiating partner. All through the book, interesting and applicable examples are provided, which can help improve the understanding of the book's content and strategies.

## ✍️ My Top 3 Quotes

> “Negotiation is not an act of battle; it’s a process of discovery.” Chris Voss
>

> “Know the emotional drivers and you can frame the benefits of any deal in language that will resonate.” Chris Voss
>

> “No, is the start of the negotiation, not the end of it.” Chris Voss
>

## 📒 Summary + Notes

### 1. How to establish Rapport and build Empathy

To negotiate over something with a pretty much unknown person, it is important to gather information. This can best be done through listening. Psychotherapy has shown that when individuals feel listened to, they tend to listen to themselves more carefully. This also means that people evaluate and clarify their own thoughts and feelings better.

Once the listening part is done correctly, it is important to build rapport with the negotiating partner. To accomplish this, there is a simple process that can be followed for reaching success.

1. Use the late-night FM DJ voice.

2. Start with “I’m sorry . . .”

3. Mirror.

4. Silence. At least four seconds, to let the mirror work its magic on your counterpart.

5.  Repeat.

The late-night FM DJ voice can be used to sound calm, assertive, and sure about what you do. It can be accomplished by inflecting your voice in a downward way.

Mirroring in step 3 is also called isopraxism, and it is the process of essentially imitating the other person. Humans and other animals do that to comfort each other. Isopraxism can happen verbally but also non-verbally, for example, with body language. In a negotiation, mirroring is when you repeat what the other person said.

### 2. Beware “YES”—master “NO”

A very interesting thing taught in the book is that a negotiator should beware of a "yes" and instead try to accomplish a "no". Because most of the time, "yes" can have multiple meanings. "Yes" can be a counterfeit, which means that the "yes" is often followed by a "no", but saying "yes" was the easier option. "Yes" can also be a confirmation, which has no real effect on the negotiation, or a "yes" can be a commitment, which is the desired response. The problem is that you have to be able to know which "yes" you received, and that can sometimes be challenging.

"No", on the other hand, is much simpler and easier to say because most of the time it means one of the following things:

- I am not yet ready to agree
- You are making me feel uncomfortable
- I do not understand
- I don’t think I can afford it
- I want something else
- I  need more information
- I want to talk it over with someone else.

After you hear a 'no', you can then ask questions about why it doesn’t work for them and what the problem is. This leads to gaining information and a better understanding of the other person.

As you can see, “No” has a lot of skills

- “No” allows the real issues to be brought forth;
- “No” protects people from making—and lets them correct—ineffective decisions;
- “No” slows things down so that people can freely embrace their decisions and the agreements they enter into;
- “No” helps people feel safe, secure, emotionally comfortable, and in control of their decisions;
- “No” moves everyone’s efforts forward.

### 3. How to get permission to persuade

Since a 'yes' does not always mean the 'yes' you are hoping for, it is generally much better to try to achieve a 'that’s right'. This phrase is where the magic happens and represents that you are on the right track. But be careful about 'you are right', since this is mostly used to signal the end of the conversation. Because most of the time, there is nothing to be discussed after one is perceived to be right. A 'that’s right' can be accomplished with a combination of labeling and mirroring.

### 4. How to shape what is fair

When trying to reach a good result in a negotiation, it is important to know some tips and tricks. It is good to know that although most people think they act on behalf of rational thinking, most decision-making is governed by emotions. This is important since humans are prone to reject unfairness. This keyword 'fairness' can be very powerful if used correctly. The authors explain that the word should be used when starting the conversation like this:

'I want you to feel like you are being treated fairly at all times. So please stop me at any time if you feel I’m being unfair, and we’ll address it.'

This sets you up as an honest dealer and creates a constructive environment. To not make this blog longer than it has to be, I will provide the next tips in a short format:

- **Anchor their emotions**: If you have negative news try to anchor the emotions so that when you say your offer it does not sound as bad.
- **Establish a range**: When negotiating for a price or salary try to talk in ranges to not force the counterpart into defensive mode.
- **Pivot to non-monetary terms**: This can make a negotiation reach a succesful end although not all parties agreed on monetary terms
- **When talking numbers use odd ones**: This makes the number seem calculated and fixed.
- **Surprise with a gift**: People are prone to respond to generosity with generosity.

### 5. Create the illusion of control

Another thing to do in a negotiation is using what are called calibrated questions. These can be used to say no in a non-confrontational way or make your counterpart understand your side without aggression or confrontation. Ask calibrated questions that start with “how” or “what”. For example:

- What about this is important to you?
- How can I help to make this better for us?
- How would you like me to proceed?
- What is it that brought us into this situation?
- How can we solve this problem?
- What’s the objective? / What are we trying to accomplish here?
- How am I supposed to do that?

  Also calibrate your questions to point your counterpart to solving your problem. This will make them finding a solution for your problem.


### 6. Guarantee execution

In this chapter, the authors talk about the importance of not only getting a yes but also talking about the how. Clarity on how something will be done or implemented can lead to a lower execution hurdle. In the context of investigation execution, the authors mention the 7-38-55 rule, which says that only 7 percent of a message is based on words, 38 percent on the tonality of your voice, and 55 percent on your body language and face. Understanding your counterpart's body language can also greatly increase your possibility of catching them lying since a disparity between words and body language exists when someone is lying.

### 7. Bargaining hard

This chapter is about how to reach a desired price in a negotiating situation.

1. Set your target price (your goal).

2. Set your first offer at 65 percent of your target price.

3. Calculate three raises of decreasing increments (to 85, 95, and 100 percent).

4. Use lots of empathy and different ways of saying “No” to get the other side to counter before you increase your offer.

5. When calculating the final amount, use precise, non round numbers like, say, $37,893 rather than $38,000. It gives the number credibility and weight.

6. On your final number, throw in a non-monetary item (that they probably don’t want) to show you’re at your limit.

### 8. Find the black swan

The black swan theory says that things happen which previously were thought to be impossible. In a negotiation, this theory suggests that there are unknown unknowns which, if brought to light, can be used as leverage. To uncover black swans, one has to see everything with a beginner's mind to not miss information due to our own perception.

### The one sheet

This is a sheet that the authors suggest to prepare before every negotiation. This sheet helps you stick to your defined strategy and helps you keep memorising vital information.

**The Goal**

Think through best/worst-case scenarios but only write down a specific goal that represents the best case.

- Set an optimistic but reasonable goal and define it clearly.
- Write it down.
- Discuss your goal with a colleague (this makes it harder to wimp out).
- Carry the written goal into the negotiation.
- Carry the written goal into the negotiation.

**Summary**

Summarise and write out in just a couple of sentences the known facts that have led up to the negotiation.

**Labels and accusation audits**

Prepare three to five labels to perform an accusation audit.

It seems like _________ is valuable to you.

It seems like you don’t like _________.

It seems like you value __________.

It seems like _________ makes it easier.

It seems like you’re reluctant to _________.

**Calibrated questions**

Prepare three to five calibrated questions to reveal value to you and your counterpart and identify and overcome potential deal killers.

What are we trying to accomplish? How is that worthwhile? What’s the core issue here? How does that affect things? What’s the biggest challenge you face?

Additionally it makes sense to prepare questions to diffuse deal-killing issues or questions that unearth them.

**Non cash offers**

Prepare a list of non-cash items possessed by your counterpart that would be valuable.

I've made it this far, and I want to thank you for reading this blog. I hope you've learned as much about negotiations as I have. May you have many successful negotiations ahead, and I wish you all the best.

Regards
Devin Hasler

A book about the art of negotiating and being a better negotiator.

Never split the difference


## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. Rapport is when two people “get” each other.
2. Rapport help create a real honest connection.
3. Two use rapport, use the HEAR principle and the animal circle.

## 🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

The book aims at a very broad spectrum of people because every person communicates in their daily life. The techniques and models presented in the book address the problems and solutions for everyday communication. The book will help understand relationship dynamics better and also generally improve your relationships. Because of the authors simple writing style the book is an easy read. During the book there are a lot of example conversations where the techniques learned from this book are used.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

The content of the book is simple and easy understandable but not groundbreaking. This is why I did not learn a lot of new knowledge. What I never heard of though is that you can split the people in 4 communication types.

## ✍️ My Top Quotes

> “Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend’s forehead.” Alison Emily, Alison Laurence
>

> “The real key to communication lies in what you do before you even open your mouth.” Alison Emily, Alison Laurence
>

## 📒 Summary + Notes

The book Rapport teaches a simple model for understanding conversations and interactions. The two authors of this book have a lot of experience with interrogations and their experience as well as multiple studies have shown that building an innate connection with the person you are talking to is the better option than trying to get what you want with force or manipulation.

### The cornerstones of rapport

Rapport as described before is the practice to create real meaningful relationships. In other words rapport is when two people ‘get’ each other. Rapport should be based on four cornerstones as suggested in the book:

- **Honesty**:Be objective and direct when communicating your intentions or feelings. 
- **Empathy**:Understand someone based on recognition of their core beliefs and values. 
- **Autonomy**:Emphasise other people’s free will and right to choose whether to cooperate. 
- **Reflection**:Identify and repeat back those elements that are significant, meaningful and tactical to help guide a conversation towards the goal.

These cornerstones can be grouped in what the book calls the HEAR principle. These cornerstones where found to be the core tenets of how to maintain engagement with other people in a positive and productive way, regardless of how adversarial or awkward the situation.

### Rapport: what is it good for?

As mentioned before, the two authors of this book, Emily Alison and Laurence Alison, both come from a background of interrogation mostly criminal investigations. Most of us don’t interrogate criminals as a hobby or even once in our life. The thing is rapport should not only be used when wanting to get information, like in an interrogation, but in every  communication during the day. With rapport you will let you leave conversations with your confidence, integrity and moral compass intact. Instead of letting a shouting battle destroy your day you will let it go. Also Rapport will make people perceive you as a better listener and as a nice person to talk to.

### The animal circle

The HEAR Principle will serve you well in improving your communication and connection across all relationships but it is important to acknowledge that not every communication. This is due to the fact that people are different. Some are natural leaders, some thrive on conflict while others prefer to stay in the background. This is where the animal circle provided by the book comes into play.

<img src="/images/blog/rapport/animalCircle.png" alt="Animal Circle" title="Animal Circle" width="50%" height="auto" />

*The good and bad animal circle*

During every interaction a person can be categories in one of four animals, Lion, Monkey, T-Rex and Mouse. Every Animal has its own characteristics:

- **Lion:** The Lion like to be in charge, advised and sets the agenda
- **Monkey:** The monkey is very friendly, likes cooperation and working in as a team
- **Mouse:** The mouse is humble, seeks guidance and likes to capitulate
- **T-Rex:** The T-Rex is forthright, critical, frank and likes conflict.

The quick shorthand for using the model to diagnose an interaction is to ask two simple questions: Does this person want me to be psychologically higher (Lion) or lower (Mouse) than them in this situation? Does this person want a psychological scrap with me (T-Rex) or a hug (Monkey)?

It is important to note that no animal is bad or not as good as another. Every animal and with that every characteristic has its place in the world otherwise the world would be boring and blunt. Also every animal has a bad counterpart which can be found on the bad circle. The goal is now to find out in every interaction in wich animal your counterpart is. If you think your counterpart is acting on the bad cycle, then you should try to counter them with acting on the good circle.

In the book there are multiple questions to answer the question of wich animal you are the best in and which you are not as good in. After the assessment you will have a spider chart of your good and bad animal circle. The ultimate goal is to communicate more and better  in the good circle and less in the bad circle.

Now equipped with this new communication model I hope you enjoyed reading this blog and recommend checking out the book if you want to learn more about the animal circle, rapport and how to use it in everyday life. I look forward to seeing you reading my next blog post and wish you all the best.

Regards
Devin Hasler

A book about how to create real honest communication and how to become a better communicator

Rapport


## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. There is no pleasure without pain
2. It is possible to release pleasure with pressing on the pain side
3. A long exposure to increased dopamine can lead to changes in your brain plasticity

## 🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

The book is applicable to everyone's life. Every person on this earth releases dopamine for everything they do or for everything they are looking for. Knowing what the pleasure-pain balance is has the power to improve everyone's life.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

I found the book very interesting, as I am a big fan of more scientifically based books. Anna provides interesting real-life examples about the theories she presents from her psychiatric practice. It was astonishing for me to learn that we humans are basically not meant to be happy all the time. Due to the pleasure-pain balance, it is biologically not possible to be happy all the time. After reading this book, I now think differently about the phases of one's life where things don't seem to work as smoothly as in other times. I think of them as something human and not something that is bad.

## ✍️ My Top Quotes

> “Persons with severe addictions are among those contemporary prophets that we ignore to our own demise, for they show us who we truly are.” Kent Dunnington
>

> “Any prolonged or repeated departures from hedonic or affective neutrality have a cost.” Richard Solomon and John Corbit
>

## 📒 Summary + Notes

The general topic of the book, as the name suggests, is Dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that bridges the distance between neurons, much like a baseball bridges the distance between the pitcher and catcher. Dopamine is known as the 'feel-good' hormone as it is responsible in our body for rewarding us when we achieve something. Although scientists have discovered that dopamine may play a bigger role in the motivation to get a reward than the pleasure of the reward itself.

The problem is that dopamine does not know if we do something to survive and preserve our race or if we are just lazy lying on the couch watching Netflix. Because our brain and our reward system are not made for the highly stimulating environment we live in, they suffer under immense overload. When we eat a fat Big Mac, our brain thinks we hunted the biggest animal on the planet and awards us for being so brave and feasting our body with so many calories and fats. What our body doesn’t know is that we have the potential to eat an unlimited amount of Big Macs because we left the era of hunting many centuries ago.

<img src="/images/blog/dopamineNation/dopamineMethology.png" alt="Dopamine as a Neurotransmitter explained" title="Dopamine as a Neurotransmitter explained" width="50%" height="auto" />

Dopamine as a Neurotransmitter

### Part 1: The Pursuit of Pleasure

As already mentioned, we live in a world with an abundance of dopamine-rewarding technologies and things to do. What we lack is the ability to cope with that and handle it. That is how we get addicted.

The definition of addiction is as follows:

Addiction is the continued and compulsive consumption of a substance or behavior (gambling, gaming, sex) despite its harm to self and/or others.

And why do we consume these substances or continue to engage in that behavior, you may ask? Because the consumption releases dopamine.

The problem is that these substances and behaviors are so easily accessible. We need zero effort to go from the couch to the fridge, and already we are able to consume as many calories as we want.

**********************************************The pleasure-pain cycle**********************************************

In addition to discovering dopamine, scientists also found that pleasure and pain are processed in overlapping brain regions. This means that pleasure and pain work in a balance. As a result, the balance does not want to be out of balance on either side for a long period of time. Because of that, it is biologically impossible to be happy all the time. Also, this implies that even if you only pursue things that make you happy, you will not be happier compared to someone who sometimes does something that they do not like.

### Part 2: Self-Binding

There are multiple ways to address a dopamine 'overdose.' The goal of all these methods is to reset the dopamine level to a normal state. One of the mentioned ways, for example, is to undergo a dopamine detox. This is a widely discussed topic, and multiple videos can be found on the internet about how to do that. In short, it involves the absence of highly stimulating activities or consumptions for a period of time. One method to achieve this is the method of self-binding, where you make it as difficult as possible to consume or engage in certain behaviour.

### Part 3: The Pursuit of Pain

Due to the fact that pain and pleasure work in balance, pleasure can be attained by pressing on the pain side. This is, for example, the explanation for the good feelings after a gym session or the hype after an ice bath. A study conducted on dogs found that when dogs were given small electroshocks, they whined, and their heart started pumping fast. However, after some time, their heart rate fell lower than the average heart rate before the shock. This meant that they were more relaxed than before the shock. Also, the repeated exposure to this shock led to a decrease in the shock, but the feel-good feeling lasted longer than after the first time.

Because of all these factors, we should manage our dopamine consumption much more, especially as a child. Overconsumption can lead to long-lasting changes in brain plasticity. That is why it is important to manage the consumption of dopamine, as it can lead to depression and a loss of motivation. I highly recommend reading this book as it contains much more information than it is possible to mention in this blog. I hope you like this blog and I look forward to to seeing you reading my next blog post.

Regards
Devin Hasler

A book about the problems of dopamine flooded world and the problem that come with it.

Dopamine Nation


## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. The meaning of life is constantly evolving and changing
2. The tensionless state is not the state to be in
3. Meaning in life is the primary force in human existence

## 🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

I can recommend this book to everyone interested in the events that occurred in a Nazi camp. Additionally, since Viktor Frankl is a psychiatrist with extensive knowledge in the field of psychiatry, the book is interesting for anyone who wants to learn more about the psychological aspects of individuals in extreme situations and their search for meaning in life.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

Personally, I already knew some things about the events in concentration camps from movies and documentaries, but the book provides a different perspective on the story – one that focuses on the human mind in these situations. This is highly intriguing and has altered and influenced my perspective on the meaning of life, particularly the idea that the meaning of life can change from hour to hour, month to month, or year to year. Logotherapy has indeed altered my perspective on how I view the meaning of life and how to discover it.

## ✍️ My Top 3 Quotes

> “Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.” Baruch Spinoza
>

> “He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.” Friedrich Nietzsche
>

> “Don’t aim at success— the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it.” Viktor E. Frankl.
>

## 📒 Summary + Notes

The young adult version of the book that I read is structured very effectively, interweaving Viktor Frankl's real-life experiences in the camp with his development of logotherapy. Additionally, at the end of the book, there is a chronology of Viktor's life along with some authentic photographs.

### Viktor Frankl’s Live

Frankl was born in Austria in 1905 and developed an early interest in philosophy, experimental psychology, and psychoanalysis. While in high school, he corresponded with Sigmund Freud as he attended adult education philosophy classes. During these classes, the instructor recognized Viktor's intellect and allowed him to deliver a lecture on the meaning of life. While still in college, Frankl established his first private youth counseling program, encouraged by a friend who noticed his exceptional talent for identifying psychological issues and uncovering motivators. Simultaneously, he began working at the Psychiatric University Clinic. In 1930, Frankl earned his medical doctorate and went on to establish additional clinics and serve as head of various clinical departments.

During this period, the Nazi ideology was gaining ground in Germany, culminating in their invasion of Austria in 1938 during the infamous Kristallnacht. In that same year, Frankl received a visa for the United States but decided not to go due to his elderly parents. With the outbreak of World War II in September 1939 following the Nazi invasion of Poland, the situation deteriorated rapidly.

By 1941, the German Einsatzgruppe was tasked with executing Jews between the front lines, and the SS had already begun their initial gas chamber experiments in Auschwitz. In the midst of these events, Viktor Frankl, along with his entire family, was arrested and taken to the concentration camp known as Theresienstadt. Subsequently, Frankl was transported to various other concentration camps, eventually becoming completely separated from his family.

In 1945, he was liberated and made his way back to Vienna, only to discover that his entire family had been killed.

### Experiences in a concentration camp

Viktor Frankl was thrust into a concentration camp with abruptness, and none of the prisoners had any knowledge of what awaited them within those barbed wire fences or how long their stay would last. This uncertainty cast a bleak shadow over their experiences, as there seemed to be no glimmer of hope on the horizon. Frankl categorized his experiences in the concentration camp into three stages.

**Stage 1**

This initial stage commenced shortly after their arrival at the camp. Upon arrival, they were sorted into two groups by an SS officer: one group consisted of those deemed fit for labor, while the other comprised the sick and elderly. Those placed in the latter group were unknowingly destined for the gas chamber. The constant looming threat of death created an unimaginable level of stress. Additionally, the brutal punishments meted out by the guards were excruciating to witness, compelling the prisoners to avert their eyes from the unbearable scenes. However, as days or weeks passed, a shift began to occur.

**Stage 2**

During this stage, the human mind started to react to the unrelenting stress and threat of death. The mind began to numb itself and entered a state of apathy. This apathy rendered the prisoners increasingly insensitive to the hourly beatings and the horrific sights around them. All their energy, effort, and emotions now coalesced around a singular objective: survival.

**Stage 3**

This stage was reached upon liberation from the prison, which brought a sudden release of pressure. Ironically, this newfound freedom was challenging for the inmates to cope with. The prolonged stress had eroded their ability to experience joy, and they had to slowly reacquaint themselves with it. Frankl described the moment of liberation as a form of depersonalization, where everything seemed unreal, unlikely, as if in a dream. Some prisoners, as Frankl observed, began to misuse their newfound freedom, behaving licentiously and ruthlessly.

### Logotherapy

Frankl's personality, shaped by his profession and skills, was notably reflective and composed. These attributes enabled him to engage in scientific inquiry even in the direst circumstances of the concentration camp. This aspect of his character is evident in his statement: "Fundamentally, therefore, any man can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him—mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp."

He also expressed the profound idea: "If there is a meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering." Given his harrowing experiences, his ability to articulate such thoughts is truly remarkable.

This reflective nature and the capacity to thrive in unusual situations led Frankl to develop Logotherapy.

The central goal of Logotherapy is to help individuals find meaning in their lives, as it is believed by many to be the primary motivating force. The scope of Logotherapy encompasses various topics, one of which addresses the common misconception that the ideal state for individuals is one of equilibrium or tensionlessness. Frankl discovered that such a state often gives rise to common problems, leading to what he termed "Sunday neurosis," where people descend into depression as they realize the lack of fulfillment in their lives after a busy week. This results in individuals oscillating between extremes of distress and boredom.

The absence of guidance on how to find meaning in life and its significance has contributed to high rates of depression among teenagers. Many young people struggle because they are not taught what they should do, lack traditions that provide direction, and often don't even know their own aspirations. Prolonged periods of aimlessness can be a ticket into depression.

Another key aspect emphasized by Frankl and Logotherapy is the importance of acknowledging one's responsibility for their own life. Logotherapy posits that this is the core of human existence.

In conclusion, I'd like to leave you with one of Frankl's statements that should never be forgotten: "Man has both potentialities within himself; which one is actualized depends on decisions but not on conditions."

Viktor Frankl is undoubtedly an intriguing figure with a wealth of valuable insights. His theories and knowledge should receive greater recognition. I highly recommend this book, and I hope to see you in my next blog. Thank you for your time.

With regards 
Devin Hasler

A book about finding a meaning and purpose in life.

Man's search for meaning


## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. Without a meaningful mission greatness can never be achieved
2. Greatness is discovering your unique gifts and talents to pursue your Meaningful Mission and make the maximum positive impact on the people around you.
3. Be aware of your emotions, your thoughts and your behavior

## 🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

The book's target audience is people new to the self-improvement industry. The book covers basic and fundamental questions and offers practical exercises to find a mission and meaning in life. That said, people who have already read some self-improvement books may find this one boring because similar questions are posed throughout the book.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

The book had no influence on me. I found the book very repetitive and boring to read. The book contains multiple practical exercises that interrupt the reading flow. Also, some exercises are repetitive. After answering the questions and doing the exercises, I did not gain any new knowledge because most of the questions I had already answered before.

## ✍️ My Top 3 Quotes

> “Life is just too short to waste any of our emotional energy on things that don’t matter.” Joel Osteen
>

> “You’ll never rise any higher than the way you see yourself.” Joel Osteen
>

> “Thoughts are the language of the brain and feelings are the language of the body.”  Dr. Joe Dispenza
>

## 📒 Summary + Notes

The goal of this book is to find the purpose of your life and, in doing so, discover your greatness. Lewis Howes divides this journey to finding your purpose into four steps. But before he begins, he explains what greatness means.

### What is Greatness

Lewis Howes has a very simple and understandable definition of greatness. He defines greatness as follows: “Greatness is discovering your unique gifts and talents to pursue your Meaningful Mission and make the maximum positive impact on the people around you.”

What I really like about this definition is that the focus is less on you than on others. To be great is not about doing the best for yourself but more about doing what you can do best for others. If you follow this definition, you will not only find happiness because in most cases the things you do best are also what you love to do, but you will also be successful because having an impact on people means solving problems, which leads to success.

### The Enemy of Greatness

Lewis explains that the biggest enemy of success is not having a meaningful mission, not having a clear path that leads you to your goals.

Lewis says something that should be taught in every school and is probably the cause in 70% of all depression cases. “Not having direction or purpose creates a vacuum in your soul, a vacuum that fears, sadness, and mental health challenges rush to fill.”

In my personal opinion, every kid should learn in school how to discover their life's purpose and how to work toward achieving it. Obviously, some may not be able to answer that right away, and even if they do, there's a high chance that this goal will change as they get older. But the most important thing is that they engage with the question.

### The Barriers of Greatness

As Lewis explains, probably the biggest barrier to success is self-doubt—fear of failure, fear of success, and fear of judgment. These three factors often define your self-doubt, as the doubt diagram suggests.

<img src="/images/blog/theGreatnessMindset/theDoubtDiagram.jpg" alt="The Doubt Diagram" title="The Doubt Diagram" width="50%" height="auto" />

The Doubt Diagram

I've heard a lot, and Lewis Howes talks about it as well, that there is no person on this earth who achieved success without experiencing failure. This is something we should never forget. Additionally, fear has a very natural origin – to protect us from danger. Although most of our fears are no longer life-threatening, we have to keep in mind that this is the most natural response and that it's much more important to push through fear in order to reach greatness.

### The Mindset of Greatness

Another important part of reaching your greatness is your mindset. But what is a mindset? Mindset, as Lewis puts it, includes your thoughts (how you think), your emotions (how you feel), and your behavior (how you act). If all of these aspects align with your meaningful mission, you are doing everything right.

### The Game Plan for Greatness

In this chapter, Lewis Howes shows how to put all the previously done exercises and knowledge into action. He talks about how important it is to set specific goals because they will give you the motivation to take action. Because at the end of the day, you can have laid out the perfect plan to reach your greatness, but if you don't put in the hours, you will never achieve what you want. Think like LeBron James, who always did more than everybody else until it paid off.

<img src="/images/blog/theGreatnessMindset/theTransformationZone.jpg" alt="Greatness Mindset and Powerless Mindset" title="Greatness Mindset and Powerless Mindset" width="50%" height="auto" />


Greatness Mindset and Powerless Mindset

To conclude this brief blog post, I want you to take with you this figure. It's a simple and effective summary of the book, encompassing all the mentioned topics within it. With that, I hope to see you in my next blog post, and thank you very much for reading.

With regards  
Devin Hasler

A book about finding your meaningfully mission and with that your greatness

The Greatness Mindset


## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. The ultimate goal of stoicism is living Eudaimonia, which means in good terms with your inner daimon
2. Stoicism is something that has to be practiced again and again, it is not something that can be achieved
3. To practice stoicism you have to take responsibility, live with areté and focus on what you control

## 🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

This book has a very basic and beginner-like approach to Stoicism. It covers all the major Stoics in the history of the human species and explains the basic principles that these Stoics taught. That's why the book is perfect for everyone new to Stoicism and wanting to learn the foundations. However, the book is also a good read for people who have already been confronted with the teachings of Stoicism.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

The book equipped me with Stoic principles and tips to apply in everyday life. It strengthened and improved my knowledge of Stoicism. In the chapter “Preparing Practices”, Jonas Salzgeber lists practices for living as a Stoic. This list provides good direction and shows the basic practices to undertake.

## ✍️ My Top 3 Quotes

> “Seek not for events to happen as you wish but rather wish for events to happen as they do and your life will go smoothly.” Epictetus
>

> “The impediment to action advances actions. What stands in the way becomes the way.” Marcus Aurelius
>

> “Leisure without study is death— a tomb for the living person.” Seneca
>

## 📒 Summary + Notes

A long time ago, Stoicism was deeply rooted in the educational system. People saw it as a practice to pursue happiness, and they aspired to live and die well. Sadly, with the passage of time, the teachings of the Stoics receded into the background, and fewer and fewer people now live the Stoic way of life. The educational system no longer deems it appropriate to teach how to live happily; instead, it focuses on teaching the pursuit of status and materialistic things.

Today, more and more people are becoming familiar with Stoicism again, thanks to the hard work of popular Stoics. New Stoics and authors are emerging, leading to its resurgence in popularity.

### 1 The most important Stoic Philosophers

There were a lot of people, especially in the old times who influenced Stoicism but not one of them had a bigger impact on modern-day Stoicism than these four individuals.

**Seneca the Younger (c. 4 BCE – 65 CE)**

Seneca was born around the time of Jesus in Spain and was educated in Rome, Italy. He was a highly successful playwright and achieved wealth through intelligent financial ventures. Seneca is considered one of the finest writers of antiquity, and much of his work has survived, serving as an important source of Stoic philosophy.

**Musonius Rufus (c. 30 CE – c. 100 CE)**

Musonius Rufus is the least known Stoic of Rome. He had his own Stoic school where he taught a simple and practical philosophy. He believed it was unnecessary to teach things that were of no practical value. Musonius offered detailed advice on eating habits, one's sex life, proper dress, and how to behave towards one's parents. Unfortunately, Rufus never wrote down his teachings and wisdom.

**Epictetus (c. 55 CE – c. 135 CE)**

Epictetus had a remarkable life trajectory. He started as a slave and was later purchased by a secretary of Nero, the Emperor of Rome. Upon the death of his owner, Epictetus gained his freedom and established a school where he taught his philosophy.

**Marcus Aurelius (121 CE – 180 CE)**

Marcus Aurelius is one of the most renowned Emperors of the Roman Empire. Furthermore, he remains to this day the most well-known Stoic philosopher, primarily due to his book 'Meditations,' which I have already covered in a [blog](https://www.peopleofgrowth.com/post/meditations).

### 2 The Stoic Happiness Triangle

The core principles of the teaching of Stoic Philosophy can be covered with the Stoic Happiness Triangle. This Triangle was invented by Jonas Salzgeber.

The Triangle shows the principles “Take Responsibilities”, “Live with Areté” and “Focus on what you control”.

<img src="/images/blog/theLittleBookOfStoicism/stoicHappinessTriangle.jpg" alt="Stoic Happiness Triangle" title="Stoic Happiness Triangle" width="50%" height="auto" />

Let’s discuss the meaning of all the other principles.

**Eudaimonia**

In the middle of the Triangle, there is Edaimonia. It represents the ultimate goal of life. It means being on good terms (eu) with your inner daimon, your highest self.

**Live with Areté**

If we want to be on good terms with our highest self, we need to close the gap between what we’re capable of and what we’re actually doing. This is really about being your best version in the here and now, explains Jonas in this book.

**Focus on what you control**

Jonas explains this as follows: At all times, we need to focus on the things we control, and take the rest as it happens. What already is has to be accepted because it’s beyond our power to undo it. What’s beyond our power is ultimately not important for our flourishing. What’s important for our flourishing is what we choose to do with the given external circumstances.

**Take Responsibility**

Good and bad come solely from yourself. This follows the first two corners that say external things don’t matter for the good life, so living with areté, which is within your control, is enough to flourish in life. Also, you’re responsible for your life because every external event you don’t control offers an area you can control, namely how you choose to respond to this event.

Now after we have discussed what stoicism is and what values are contained in this philosophy we can now look at how stoicism can be practiced.

### 3 How to practice Stoicism

In this chapter, Jonas Salzgeber discusses the core principles of practicing Stoicism.

The most important principle among them is to **Brace Yourself**. This means that all the negative and challenging aspects of your life should be viewed as opportunities for personal growth and inner strength. The more difficulties you face, the stronger you will become.

To achieve this, it is crucial to be **mindful**. A Stoic is capable of pausing between a stimulus and their response to that stimulus. We need to be aware of our lives in order to make positive changes. Additionally, living in the present moment is essential, as it is the only aspect of life that we can control. If you want to learn more about mindfulness and living in the present, I recommend checking out the blog from the book  [*The Power of Now*](https://www.peopleofgrowth.com/post/the-power-of-now).

Also, to practice Stoicism you need ******************************self-discipline.****************************** To improve in any area of life needs effort and with that self-discipline to keep trying and keep coming back.

### 4 Practices

At this stage of the book, Jonas lists important practices for training oneself to live a Stoic way of life. Due to the limited space in this blog, I will only list the most important practices for me in this section.

**Remind Yourself of the Impermanence of Things**

This is highly significant considering the nature of life. Nothing is permanent, and everything comes and goes. Therefore, we should not cling to things but instead accept and appreciate what we have or experience in the present moment.

**Contemplate Your Own Death**

Although it may sound intimidating, contemplating our own death holds immense value if approached correctly. Many people fear death because they are afraid of missing out. However, as previously mentioned, "nothing is impermanent." That's why it's crucial to reflect on our own mortality. This practice helps us stop wasting time on trivial matters and increases mindfulness. One exercise I find helpful is called "The Funeral," where you imagine your own funeral. Envision your family gathering and delivering speeches. The question is: what do you want your family to say about you? This exercise aids in determining your core values and improving your focus on what truly matters.

**Eliminate the Nonessential**

This should be self-evident, yet it is one of the most challenging things to accomplish. Focusing on the essentials is a struggle for every individual. However, when achieved, it brings immense benefits.

Please note that this is not an exhaustive list of practices from the book, but rather my personal top three. If you want to explore all the practices, along with additional situational practices, I highly recommend reading the entire book.

I wish you the best on your stoic journey and I look forward to seeing you reading my next blog post.

With regards  
Devin Hasler

A book about the principles and practices of stoicism.

The little book of stoicism



## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. To live in the now is the greatest power
2. All the stress, pain and unhappiness occur because of a separation between the body and the mind
3. Not the past nor the future is relevant only the now

## 🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

The content of the book addresses everyone's life, and every person on this earth fights against the mind, their beliefs, and their emotions. This is why everyone should read this book. However, what I have to say, though, is that I can imagine the style of the book is not for everyone. The book is written in a sort of FAQ format, which is not everyone's favourite. Additionally, the book has a spiritual touch, which may be a bit too much for some people. But despite these points, I would highly recommend everybody to read this book.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

The book changed me positively, as I am now more aware of the importance of being present in many situations. If I experience strong emotions, I remind myself of the sayings of Eckhart Tolle, and I try to acknowledge the feeling and let it pass away. Another thing that I started doing because of the book is being more present in daily tasks such as brushing my teeth, walking, or eating. All of these things have already had an impact on my overall level of happiness and appreciation in life.

## ✍️ My Top 3 Quotes

> “The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle
>

> “You cannot be both unhappy and fully present in the Now.” Eckhart Tolle
>

> “Resistance is the mind.” Eckhart Tolle
>

## 📒 Summary + Notes

As mentioned before, the book is written in an FAQ style, which means that Tolle addresses posed questions and provides answers to them. The book has no underlying storyline. Because of this, I will try to group the posed questions and explain how Eckhart answers them.

### The Now

Eckhart Tolle explains that the "Now" is the only thing to strive for in life. He states that if someone manages to be fully present in the present moment, they have achieved the greatest power in the world. Tolle elaborates that all problems, self-doubt, and stress arise when we fail to live in the present moment. If we dwell on past events or constantly worry about the future, it becomes nearly impossible to find happiness and live a stress-free life. The issue with the past is that we allow our past experiences and actions to limit our potential in the present. The problem with the future is that it is merely an illusion and a product of our imagination. Our minds tend to continually attempt to predict the future, but most of these predictions are filled with negative or worst-case scenarios.

**How to arrive in the now?**

There are multiple ways to enter the present moment, but one of the most commonly used and recognized methods is meditation. Of course, there are various forms of meditation, but one of the simplest forms is focusing on your breath. During meditation, you become the observer of your breath and your body in general. Your thoughts become like clouds that come and disappear. This allows you to reach a state of deep calm and tranquillity: the present moment.

In your daily life, there are many opportunities to be more present in the now. One possibility is to fully feel every step as you walk or to be fully present while eating your meals. You can engage all your senses and feel all the muscles working as you eat.

These brief and small moments of presence in the present moment will dissolve stress and negative thoughts, ultimately improving your day and overall happiness.

### The mind

On the journey of becoming more present, it is vital to acknowledge that you are not the mind. If you believe that you are your mind, you create an illusion of separateness, the illusion that there is a distinct "you" and a completely separate "other." This leads to unconsciousness and a lack of presence. Eckhart emphasizes that it is not necessary to understand the mind on a scientific level, but rather to recognize that you are not your mind. It's important not to mistake the mind itself for a bad thing. The real issue arises when you seek your true self solely within the mind.

The mind also significantly influences the body, which is why being present is crucial. If you cannot feel your emotions and remain disconnected from them, you will eventually experience them solely on a physical level, manifesting as physical problems or symptoms.

### Surrender

To become free from stress and pain, one must surrender. This aspect aligns with Stoicism, as Stoics like Marcus Aurelius (to learn more about Marcus Aurelius, check out this blog: **[Meditations](https://www.peopleofgrowth.com/blog/meditations)**) often state, "What is natural cannot be bad."

The pain you experience is always a result of non-acceptance, an unconscious resistance to what is. Some spiritual teachings even go as far as to claim that all pain in the world is merely an illusion. Surrendering in the context of pain means going into and through the pain instead of resisting it. This may seem counterintuitive, but it leads to accepting and acknowledging the pain, ultimately reducing its dominance.

Eckhart Tolle explains all these concepts with a simple and informal writing style, making the reading of the book highly enjoyable and leading to eye-opening realizations. I highly recommend reading the book to gain a deeper understanding of the power of the present moment. I hope to see you in my next blog post.

With regards  
Devin Hasler

A book by Eckhart Tolle in which he explains the importance of living in the now.

The power of Now



## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. EQ is a flexible skill that can be learned. While it is true that some people are naturally more emotionally intelligent than others, a high EQ can be developed even if you aren’t born with it.
2. people with the highest levels of intelligence (IQ) outperform those with average IQs just 20% of the time, while people with average IQs outperform those with high IQs 70% of the time.
3. Emotional Intelligence consists of four key parts: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management

## 🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

This is one of those books that everyone should read. It contains general pieces of information that apply to everyone's life, and the book is really easy to read. Every individual possesses emotional intelligence, which in turn affects their life. Thus, it is important for everyone to strive towards enhancing their EQ. Doing so not only benefits the individual but also positively impacts their relationships and those around them. If you are already familiar with books from the self-improvement genre, you will find a lot of familiar information. This is why I gave the book 3 stars.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

Although the book contains valuable information, it did not have a big impact on my life. The book strengthened my perception of EQ and its values, but it did not provide me with a lot of new information about EQ. However, the book did manage to create the habit of trying to figure out the EQs of people, which could be a useful skill for searching for employees or meeting new, interesting, and socially intelligent people in general.

## ✍️ My Top 3 Quotes

> “People trust what they see over what they hear.” Travis Bradberry
>

> “CEOs, on average, have the lowest EQ scores in the workplace.” Travis Bradberry
>

> “What your folks forgot to explain is that you always have a choice-a choice in how you respond to what’s before you.” Travis Bradberry
>

## 📒 Summary + Notes

Emotional Intelligence is one of the three key components of a person. The other two are Cognitive Intelligence (IQ) and Personality. However, there is one important distinction between the three: Cognitive Intelligence cannot be significantly improved with exercise or training; it is largely defined by genetics. Personality is a result of preferences, such as an inclination for introversion or extroversion. Like IQ, personality, as defined by Travis Bradberry, cannot be changed significantly and remains stable over a lifetime. Emotional Intelligence, on the other hand, can be improved with training and practice. Emotional Intelligence is so important because it comes biologically before the rational brain. That means that the rational area of your brain can't stop the emotion by your limbic system.

<img src="/images/blog/emotionalIntelligence20/biologyOfBrain.jpg" alt="Biology of the Brain" title="Biology of the Brain" width="50%" height="auto" />


### The 4 parts of EQ

Emotional Intelligence consists of four parts: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. Each of these parts contributes to your EQ. Self-awareness and self-management can be grouped under personal competence, while social awareness and relationship management can be grouped under social competence.

<img src="/images/blog/emotionalIntelligence20/partsOfEQ.jpg" alt="Biology of the Brain" title="Biology of the Brain" width="50%" height="auto" />

#### Self-awareness

To be self-aware is to know yourself as you really are. There is no finish line with self-awareness. Self-awareness is about knowing the true essence of yourself. It means noticing and understanding your emotions, both positive and negative. Travis Bradberry provides 15 self-awareness strategies and explains them in detail. For the purpose of the length of this blog, I will not do that. I will only provide the ones that I think are the most important.

**Quit Treating Your Feelings as Good or Bad**

This is the principle of stoicism, and I think it is one of the most important things for managing hard times and emotional stress. The importance of suspending judgment of emotions is massive, and it allows your emotions to run their course and vanish.

**Lean into Your Discomfort**

One possible way of managing emotions is to simply avoid them. The problem with this approach is that you will never be able to manage yourself and your problems effectively. A better way than avoiding your feelings would be to move toward your emotions and eventually work through them.

**Visit your Values**

It's crucial to stay focused on the end goal while managing day-to-day tasks. Taking a moment to reflect on your core values and beliefs can make a significant impact.

#### Self-management

Self-management is your ability to use awareness of your emotions to actively choose what you say and do. A high level of self-management ensures that you are not getting in your own way and doing things that limit your success.

********Count to Ten********

This is a very effective way of dealing with anger and frustration. Just stop yourself and count to ten. Then proceed with your regained composure and rational perspective on the situation.

****************************Take Control of Your Self-Talk****************************

Your subconscious mind is very powerful and plays an important role in how we think about ourselves and the world. Therefore, it is important to control your self-talk and regulate what you allow to enter your subconscious mind.

#### Social awareness

Social awareness is the skill to recognize and understand the moods of other individuals and entire groups of people. Social awareness involves looking outward to learn about and understand the emotions and feelings of others. To build your social awareness skills, you will have to observe people in all kinds of situations.

****************************************Greet People by Name****************************************

This concept is so simple yet so effective. Greeting people by their names not only acknowledges them as the essence of who they are, but also allows you to remain connected to them in more than just a superficial way.

******Watch Body Language******

Reading a person's body language is an important skill to master because it is something that is very hard to hide. It provides you with valuable information about the other person and allows you to respond appropriately.

#### Relationship management

Relationships are an essential and fulfilling part of life. Since you are half of any relationship, you have half of the responsibility for improving and maintaining it. All relationships take work, and working on a relationship takes time, effort, and know-how.

******************Be Open and Be Curious******************

Being open means sharing information about yourself with others. This leaves less room for them to misinterpret you. However, just being open is not enough. You also need to be curious about the other person. This general curiosity is important and allows for interesting relationships.

I personally think that EQ is neglected a lot in our society, especially in schools and working environments. In schools, you are not taught that there is something like EQ, and you don’t learn how you can improve your EQ. Learning about EQ and how to improve it would have a dramatic effect on relationships and would probably have a big impact on the success and happiness of people.

If you want to learn from a person who has nearly mastered the four parts of emotional intelligence, check out my blog about the book "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius. Also, feel free to share your thoughts on emotional intelligence and its importance in the world and schools in the comments. I hope to see you again, reading my next blog!

With regards  
Devin Hasler  

A book about Emotional Intelligence, the importance of it and how to improve it.

Emotional Intelligence 2.0




## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. The philosophy of Marcus Aurelius, known as Stoicism, emphasizes rationality, self-control, and acceptance of one's fate in the universe. This approach is still studied and appreciated today for its practical advice on how to live a fulfilling life.
2. The only thing that matters in life is activity
3. Nothing is good except what leads to fairness, self-control, courage, and free will. And nothing bad except what does the opposite.

## 🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

The book may not appeal to all readers, as it lacks a clear central theme and is comprised of personal reflections and notes from Marcus Aurelius. Originally not intended for publication, it is most engaging for those interested in Stoicism or seeking insight into the thoughts of Marcus Aurelius.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

Meditations enhanced my understanding of Marcus Aurelius, and the book significantly increased my admiration for him. It also altered my perspective on self-control and material possessions. While I found some of Marcus's statements excessively rigorous and occasionally overly simplistic, I can affirm that I share many of his values and his approach to life. To me, Marcus Aurelius is an exemplar of how to manage persistent stress and discover purpose and joy in life.

## ✍️ My Top 3 Quotes

> “Noting natural is evil.” Marcus Aurelius
>

> “No thefts of free will reported.” Epictetus
>

> “You’re better off not giving the small things more time than they deserve.” Marcus Aurelius
>

## 📒 Summary + Notes

It is hard to summarize a book that has no central theme and that is not actually a book because Marcus Aurelius wrote 12 “Books” containing his thoughts and notes. These 12 Books have no central theme and are not in chronological order or even logical order. That is why I thought I will explain who Marcus Aurelius is and why he wrote those notes to himself. Also, I will summarize the book to recurring values and messages that Marcus Aurelius believes and lives on.

### The life of Marcus Aurelius

Marcus Aurelius was a Roman Emperor and philosopher who ruled from 161 to 180 AD and is best known for his writings on stoicism. He sprang from a distinguished enough family. The year of his birth coincided whit his grandfather’s second tenure of the consulship, in theory, Rome’s highest office. It was to be his grandfather who brought him up, for his father died when he was very young. Marcus Aurelius is said to have been fond of quoting Plato’s dictum and those who have written about him have rarely been able to resist applying it to Marcus himself.  Although Marcus was born into a wealthy family, it was never considered that Marcus would become emperor of Rome but in 137 Ceionius (the planned successor of the emperor Hadrian) died unexpectedly, and Hadrian was forced to cast about for a new successor. His choice fell on the childless senator Antoninus, whom he selected with the proviso that Antoninus should in turn adopt Marcus (his nephew by marriage). Marcus took on the family name of his adopted father, becoming Marcus Aurelius Antoninus.

### Happiness and Mindfulness

Marcus demonstrated a high level of self-awareness and a keen understanding of how to achieve happiness and mindfulness. This is exemplified in Book 4 where he stated the following: “People try to get away from it all—to the country, to the beach, to the mountains. You always wish that you could too. Which is idiotic: you can get away from it anytime you like.” His solution for this problem is going within. Being mindful. He states that the most important ability to have is to control your thoughts and treat them with respect. He said that you should forget everything else because each of us lives only now, this brief instant. The rest has been lived already or is impossible to see.

Marcus said that there is no reason to not be happy. Why should you suffer and be degraded -miserable, tense, frightened?

### Minimalism

Despite being one of the wealthiest and most influential individuals in the world, Marcus never fixated on material possessions and refrained from boasting about his belongings and power. He wore normal clothes, fasted and sometimes lived in a soldier’s tent to remind him of his values.

For example, in Book 8, he says you should be satisfied if you can live the rest of your life, however short. You should focus on that and not let anything distract you. You should not wander all over and finally realize that you never found what you were after, how to live. Not in syllogisms, not in money, fame, or self-indulgence. Nowhere.

Also, he says that you should stop prizing other things because otherwise, you will never be free and independent. You will always be envious and jealous, afraid that people might come and take it all away from you.

### Stress

It's easy to see how the emperor of Rome would be under a lot of stress. During Marcus' reign, he faced a plague that caused widespread death, had to navigate conflicts with the Parthian empire, and even dealt with multiple attempts to deceive him. Despite all of these challenges, Marcus had a simple yet effective way of managing stress. He reminded himself of the following:
What is it—this thing that now forces itself on my notice? What is it made up of? How long was it designed to last? And what qualities do I need to bring to bear on it—tranquillity, courage, honesty, trustworthiness, straightforwardness, independence or what?

### Self-control

It has been said that Marcus possessed an extraordinary degree of self-control. In his writings, Marcus frequently emphasizes the importance of self-control. For instance, in Book 3 he states:
How to act: Never under compulsion, out of selfishness, without forethought, with misgivings. Don’t gussy up your thoughts. No surplus words or unnecessary actions.

His self-control is also displayed when he talks about waking up early. He agrees that we have to sleep sometime. But he said that nature set a limit on that—as it did on eating and drinking. And you’re over the limit. You’ve had more than enough of that. But not of working. So if you want to learn how to wake up as early as marcus aurelius you have to read the summary about the book miracle morning (https://www.peopleofgrowth.com/post/themiraclemorning)

### Death

Marcus has a very drastic view of death and a very simple one too. He states that death is only the dissolution of the elements from which each living thing is composed. If it doesn’t hurt the individual elements to change continually into one another, why are people afraid of all of them changing and separating? It’s a natural thing. And noting nature is evil.

According to Marcus, the only thing to be afraid of is the possibility of one day losing our comprehension of the world.

In observing Marcus' way of life, it is evident that he maintained a strict lifestyle while also being open to showing helplessness. This is particularly impressive, given the environment in which he was raised. It's remarkable that Marcus helped to shape modern Stoicism, which is evident when reading contemporary books on the subject (see https://www.peopleofgrowth.com/post/discipline-is-destiny). Despite facing countless distractions, Marcus was able to manage his life in a simplistic and disciplined manner. I hold great respect for him and his lifestyle. Please share your thoughts on Marcus Aurelius and his way of life in the comments below. I hope to see you in my next blog post.

With regards  
Devin Hasler

A book about the values and life of Marcus Aurelius a Roman emperor and former practitioner of stoicism.

Meditations


## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. Self-improvement is not punishment it is simply the work for which pleasure is the reward
2. Improve your Body, your Temperament and your Soul every day
3. The less you desire, the richer you are, the freer you are, the more powerful you are

## 🕵🏼Who Should Read It?

This book is written for everyone because it contains rules and values that apply to everyone and can aid in their self-improvement journey. However, it is possible that some individuals may find certain rules and values in the book to be overly strict or extreme. Additionally, those who are seeking a book that offers specific actions to improve their life may not find what they are looking for in this book.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

The book has improved my perception of stoicism. As a result of reading it, I re-evaluated some of my life goals and the material possessions that I believed were necessary. Furthermore, it reinforced my admiration for Marcus Aurelius. I intend to read "Meditations" now in order to gain more insight into his philosophies and the values associated with the stoic way of life. This book serves as a powerful motivator and imparts important life lessons.

## ✍️ My Top 3 Quotes

> “When a man can control his life, his physical needs, his lower self he elevates himself.” Muhammad Ali
>

> “Freedom is only the opportunity for self-discipline.” Eisenhower
>

> “You may lose battle but never lose a minute to sloth” Napoleon
>

## 📒 Summary + Notes

The book employs prominent figures to illustrate crucial values that lead to success, good health, and happiness in life. It recounts the lives of notable individuals such as Lou Gehrig, Queen Elizabeth II, boxer Floyd Patterson and Marcus Aurelius, among others, and details their actions to demonstrate important values. The author, Ryan, classifies these values into three categories: The Body, The Temperament, and The Soul.

### THE EXTERIOR (THE BODY)

The advantages of maintaining a healthy body are widely acknowledged in all scientific fields and Ryan emphasizes the importance of taking care of your body. In this chapter, he highlights the significance of going to bed and waking up early, as previously mentioned in the summary of "Sleep Smarter."

[Sleep Smarter](https://www.peopleofgrowth.com/post/sleep-smarter)

Ryan also emphasizes the need to govern our bodies effectively. Although our bodies have remained largely unchanged for thousands of years, our environment has undergone significant transformations. Our bodies are designed for survival, but survival is no longer a concern in contemporary society. Therefore, when our bodies crave unhealthy food, we must remind ourselves, that we no longer live in the Stone Age and we don't need to worry about getting enough food.

It is crucial to exercise control over our physical needs, dress well, treat our bodies well, moderate our desires, work hard, exercise regularly and pursue opportunities because these actions can foster positive thinking and happiness while also resulting in significant rewards.

### THE INNER DOMAIN (THE TEMPERAMENT)

The temperament of a human being is just as important for a healthy and successful life as having a healthy body. Many people are entirely in control of their physical appearance, but their life is a mess elsewhere, leading to nothing. Practising self-control daily and managing your temptations is vital. You must concentrate and keep your focus on the main thing only. For example, Ludwig van Beethoven would sometimes abruptly leave a conversation with his friends to write down a new melody during his famous flow state. Focus goes hand in hand with respecting your time and using it wisely. Too many people waste endless time watching TV or on their phones watching YouTube. However, it's important to know that you don't have to be perfect and the 80/20 Pareto Principle can help you get things done efficiently. The Pareto Principle states that you can get 80% of your work done in 20% of your time, but the remaining 20% of the work will take 80% of your time. Therefore, use your time wisely, moderate your ambition and strive to improve yourself every day.

### THE MAGISTERIAL (THE SOUL)

In this chapter, Ryan talks about how it's not uncommon to find someone who has physical control of themselves. Nor is there a shortage of brilliant people who have brought their minds and spirits under control in the pursuit of this profession or that one. What is extraordinarily rare is someone who not only combines these two disciplines but also manages to do so in the so-called arena, in public life as a doer, a contributor to society.

Ryan explains the importance of staying flexible despite your habits and making others better. He tells the story of Angela Merkel, who did not let the position she was in or the money she had change her. She had no problem when people referred to her as the "girl of the pastor". That is the key. Do not let the success you experience change the way you talk with people or how you view them. Be strict with yourself but tolerant of others. This is one of the most important values for a stoic.

Now equipped with the values of a modern stoic, I wish you the best of luck on your journey to practice stoicism. Feel free to leave a comment about what you think of the book and the values it preaches and I hope to see you again, reading the next blog.

With regards  
Devin Hasler

A book that explores the concept of discipline and how it can help us achieve success in all areas

Discipline is Destiny


## 🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. Do the S.A.V.E.R.S every morning and use that momentum for the whole day
2. S.A.V.E.R.S consists of Silence, Affirmation, Visualization, Exercise, Read, and scribbling
3. Use the early morning of your life to work for yourself and your mind

## Who Should Read It?

Honestly, I think this book is for everyone who likes self-improvement. Because this book will
improve every person’s morning.

## ✍️ My Top 3 Quotes

> “How you do anything is how you do everything. ”
>

> “Where you are is a result of who you were, but where you go depends entirely on who you choose to
> be.”
>

> “Be grateful for all that you have, accept all that you don’t, and actively create all that you
> want.”
>

## 📒 Summary

### Step-by-Step guide for your morning

1. **Set Your Intentions the Night Before**. This is the most important step. Remember: your first
   thought in the morning is usually the last thought you had before bed, so take responsibility for
   creating genuine excitement for the next morning, every night before bed.
2. **Keep Your Alarm Clock Across the Room**. Remember: movement creates energy
3. **Brush Your Teeth**. Use Listerine for extra oomph!
4. **Drink a Full Glass of Water**. Hydrate yourself, ASAP.
5. **Dress in Your Workout Clothes**. Earn your A.M. shower!

And then let your miracle morning begin.

### 1. S for Silence

The benefits of doing mental exercises like Meditation, Breathing, or Praying have long been proved
by science, and so the miracle morning must contain some sort of mental workout.
After the Silence Phase, you will feel that the stress is relieved, and you will fall into a state
of deep relaxation and peacefulness.

### 2. A for Affirmations

Affirmations are in the field of Self-Improvement a controversial topic. Some say it is over-hyped, 
and some say that the benefits changed their lives. We can agree on is that Rereading or Vocalizing
your goals for life will strengthen the bond to your goals, commitment and motivation.

### 3. V for Visualization

Visualization is something that is often linked with sports, but visualization is a gamer changer if
used for visualizing the day. How it works is you visualize your optimal day. You imagine you
succeed in everything you have set for the day, and you feel the emotions that would arise if you
would succeed. How far you visualize the future is up to you, but there are a lot of people who
visualize themselves very far in the future. A very popular example is the funeral visualization
from the book “7 habits of highly effective people”

### 4. E for Exercise

Exercise is one of the most important things in self-improvement, and the benefits are widely backed
up by science. If you exercise in the morning, it has a tremendous effect on your energy levels
during the day. Also, because of the higher blood flow in your body, you become motivated for the
day,
and you will not feel any tiredness in the morning. The best thing is we don’t talk about an hour of
intense workout. We talk about some push-ups, sit-ups, or even yoga. So if you don’t already work
out in the morning, you got to change that.

### 5. R for Reading

Everyone knows the benefits of reading, and everyone wishes he would read more. And that’s why it is
perfect to do the reading in the morning when your willpower is not yet depleted from the day. You
mustn’t feel obliged to read a whole book in the morning. Instead, it is okay to just read a few
pages or just a single chapter. And because you have done the exercise before, you will not feel
tired, and you will be able to read will full concentration.

### 6. S for Scribing

Scribing is the art of spontaneous and off-the-hook writing. It’s all from writing a journal to
writing an actual book. With that, you can free your mind from things that are stuck in your head.
You can write down your daily to-dos and your most important tasks for your day. Or you write a
dream journal where you write down what you dreamed about. It is up to you. I personally write my
blog, the one you are reading right now.

## ☘️ How the Book Changed Me

I have to say that I meditated or did the Wim-Hof Method for a long time so t V in S.A.V.E.R.S was
not something new, but I never considered to do Exercising and Visualization. I always worked out in
the evening, and although in the morning I only do push-ups and sit-ups and not a real workout, I
still have the same benefits as in a normal workout. Your blood flow increases your mental clarity
and your overall mood and awareness. The same is with Visualization. I already did that in Sports
before a game, but I never considered using the benefit of Visualization for improving my overall
day. So, in conclusion, I can say that I definitely will continue to do the miracle morning and that
I will do the 30 days and give you guys an update on how it went and what the difficulties were.
Stay tuned.

## ⏲ Updates

**Update 30 Days**

After 30 Days of doing the miracle morning consistently every day I see the benefits of the miracle
morning clearly. My energy levels during the day are higher and I can focus better on tasks I have
to do. Also, I now wake up in the morning and I don't need as much energy anymore to go out of bed
because I have a strict routine and I know I want to finish all the elements of the S.A.V.E.R.S in
the morning. Probably the biggest benefit is that you feel less grumpy in the morning because after
the E (Exercise) you are widely awake, and you feel the benefits of increasing your blood flow. So I
will definitely not stop on Day 30 and I will continue doing my Miracle Morning.

**Update 60 Days**

After 60 Days, I changed a lot in my Miracle Morning. I started doing a 5-min Ab-Workout and every
second day I stretch for 5 minutes. Also, I restarted doing my gratitude journal where I journal
down 5 things every day that I am grateful for. The Benefits of the Miracle Morning are still there,
but I don't feel them as strong anymore because you get used to the benefits of the Miracle Morning.
What I do feel, however, is when I don't do the Miracle Morning because the difference is profound.

With regards  
Devin Hasler

A Book that will change your morning and with that your life